The Path from TWOQC’s YANA to Partners Losing Partners Outreach

Julie Sherwood and Gloria Bible

When the husband of Quail Creek resident Bobbi Gordon entered hospice care in May of 2018, Bobbi realized she had no idea how to prepare for the inevitable change in her life. She eventually found a helpful checklist by UMassFive College Federal Credit Union: “Life Events: What to Do When a Loved One Dies.”

Two months later, Pat Neel, then president of The Women of Quail Creek (TWOQC), suggested Bobbi create a program for new widows based on that checklist. When Bobbi requested further direction, Pat responded, “Bobbi, it’s your baby. Do what you think is best.”

With that, few people could have imagined what was to come. Bobbi recruited a few members and formed a committee to identify information helpful for new widows. After several months of development, a proposal was submitted and approved by TWOQC’s executive board for the new committee: YANA (You are Not Alone).

Since a fundamental component of TWOQC’s YANA mission centers on outreach visits, Stephen Ministries, a nationwide non-denominational group with extensive grief support expertise, responded to YANA’s request to train committee members and hone their understanding of the dynamics involved.

By March of 2022, TWOQC’s YANA began exploring ways to help QC men start a similar outreach program for widowers. Eventually, a formal request was submitted but not approved by TWOQC’s executive board, since TWOQC membership is exclusively for women. Gary Reed, a widower, attempted to establish an equivalent program called Men’s Outreach Support Team (MOST) in October of 2022 but was unable to gather enough support.

Then in early 2023, Bobbi responded to considerable interest by founding the social group Widows of QC Connecting (informally, Sassy Sisters). Eventually, because TWOQC’s YANA served QC women, Bobbi, Toni Pastor (TWOQC’s YANA chair), and Julie Sherwood (TWOQC’s YANA co-chair) considered moving TWOQC’s YANA to Sassy Sisters.

Meanwhile, with the continued desire to serve QC men, Gary Reed was contacted to discuss possible solutions. Gary suggested approaching the QC’s POA board with a request for approval of a new group serving all QC residents who lost a partner or spouse. In June the proposal was approved, and Partners Losing Partners Outreach (PLPO) was created.

Since its inception, PLPO has assisted 16 QC residents (as of this writing). PLPO has recently expanded resource outreach to help caregivers of spouses or partners prepare ahead of a passing.

A seminar discussing how to prepare for a passing will be held on Nov. 13 from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. in the Ocotillo Room. Since high demand is anticipated, PLPO plans to offer the program again in 2025.